


Stars Don't Disappear

by Cosmic_Myths



Series: Let The Stars Guide You Home [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben's alive, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Instead we hate Reggie, Klaus Hargreeves Has PTSD, Luther Is Trying, Not Season 2 Compliant, Number Five | The Boy has PTSD, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Apocalypse, Post-Season/Series 01, Soft Diego Hargreeves, Stuttering Diego Hargreeves, Swearing, These siblings learning to love each other, Vanya Hargreeves Gets a Hug, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, because I don't know what's up with the epilogue, in this house we don't have any of the kids, just in the last chapter, no beta we die like ben, slight crack, tiny reference to the comics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26470555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cosmic_Myths/pseuds/Cosmic_Myths
Summary: The clock has reset. The apocalypse has been averted for now, though everyone walks on a thin line to keep it this way.It’s a shame that now they actually have to pick up the pieces.(Or, a story of the post-apocalypse told through 7 short stories + an extra one)
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves & Everyone, Allison Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Everyone, Ben Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Everyone, Diego Hargreeves & Grace Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Everyone & Everyone, Klaus Hargreeves & Everyone, Klaus Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Luther Hargreeves & Everyone, Number Five | The Boy & Ben Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Ben Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Everyone, Vanya Hargreeves & Everyone
Series: Let The Stars Guide You Home [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1917691
Comments: 28
Kudos: 142





	1. You're Saying It's Hopeless

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Did you miss me? 
> 
> This does belong in my “Let The Stars Guide You Home” series and bridges the end of chapters 2 and 3(and the very beginning of chapter 4) to what happens in chapter 4. Still, it can be read as a stand alone.
> 
> Each chapter will be 1k-2k words only :) Ben and Vanya don't actually show up as the main focus until the last chapters, but because they're the main characters of this series I decided to leave them for last. 
> 
> Chapter title for the fic and all the chapters is from the song 'Stargazing' by Kygo ft. Justin Jesso.

Five continues to busy himself with making sure the apocalypse doesn’t happen again. Ever since they’ve returned, he’s been switching between checking to make sure Vanya doesn’t feel the need to destroy and figuring out how the commission could make bodies—so he can get Ben a body. 

He doesn’t spend time with his family because he’s busy. He’s busy making sure they stay alive and it doesn’t really matter because he already went 45 years without them. A few weeks really doesn’t mean anything, once everything’s figured out they can do whatever normal families do. 

He doesn’t sleep either. There are a few reasons for this. It takes up time that he could be spending on equations. He has coffee so sleep is really unnecessary. Sure, whenever he closes his eyes he’s back in the apocalypse, but that doesn’t mean anything. Remembering the smoke and the utter silence is an inconvenience at worst. It doesn’t  _ mean anything.  _

He does 2 daily check-ins with Vanya. They’re 30 minutes each and he usually spends them bouncing ideas off her. She usually doesn’t respond, but it’s fine. She’s alive so she’s okay. He saved his family and he’ll continue to do so. 

Allison checks in sometimes. She makes sure he eats and sometimes leaves sandwiches for him before she disappears again. Five’s thankful. He had feared she would coddle him and never leave his side. So what if she’s acting quieter than usual? She’s alive and she’s okay. 

Luther tries the hardest to connect with Five. He sits and listens to Five’s ideas. Occasionally he can actually be a bit helpful—it turns out that Luther is good at physics. Still he can be a distraction so more often than not Five shoos him away. It’s not like the hurt face Luther makes every time means anything. He’s alive and breathing and it’s not like he’s hurt. 

Sometimes, he talks out loud. He likes to think Ben’s listening. Afterall, Five is doing a good portion of this for Ben. The fact that Five often mourned the loss of a brother who died too young has nothing to do with this. It’s simply because of his goal to keep all his family alive.

Five doesn’t see Diego a lot. He still seems angry, but that’s normal for Diego so it’s okay. He talks to Grace a lot, but that’s also a very Diego thing so he’s fine. It’s not that Five  _ doesn’t _ notice the internal conflict Diego seems to have—he just deems it unnecessary. He’s okay. He’s here and he’s not a lifeless body underneath rubble, so he’s okay. 

Klaus is up a lot. Five notices him as he stares wishfully at their father’s alcohol, but he never drinks some. That’s good; he’s really trying to be sober. Five notices the tell-tale signs of nightmares in Klaus, but he’s making progress, so he’s fine. He’s alive and not overdosing, so he’s okay. 

Five still gets some sleep. It’s necessary, afterall. Most of the time he’s awake until he collapses from exhaustion. He’s working on an equation when his vision suddenly blacks out and his lungs are filled with smoke. He chokes on it and takes in the rubble around him. The bodies of his family surround him and eerie white eyes stare at him from the rubble. 

He wakes, slightly gasping for breath, to Klaus’ concerned face. Five glances around the room and notices there’s daylight streaming through the windows. He’s lost a lot of time. He moves to get up, but Klaus stops him. 

“Five, you need rest. You haven’t been getting sleep,” He says. 

“Like you’re one to talk,” Five snaps back. 

Five expects some sort of dramatic reaction from Klaus, but instead he just purses his lips and seems to take in Five’s appearance. Five doesn’t like the feeling of being analysed—it reminds him too much of the Handler and Reginald. 

“What was your nightmare about?” Klaus asls. 

“None of your business,” Five says instantly. 

“I have PTSD,” Klaus says, though Five doesn’t know why he brought it up. 

“I’m sorry?” Five only half tries to sound sincere. 

Klaus laughs. It’s a small laugh compared to how he sometimes laughs—but it’s genuine. Something in Five eases up at the sound. Klaus is okay. He’s alive  _ and  _ laughing so he’s extra okay. 

“I think you probably have it too,” Klaus says. 

“No I don’t,” Five says quickly.

There isn’t anything wrong with Five. His nightmares mean nothing. The Apocalypse is behind him. The Handler is gone. Five is alive and breathing and the apocalypse  _ never _ killed him, so he’s okay. 

“Fivey! The apocalypse must’ve been traumatic. Especially if you were 13 and had to grow up there,” Klaus says. 

Five moves to jump away or say something, but Klaus continues on. 

“There’s nothing wrong with admitting you’re not okay.” 

“But I am okay! I’ve had decades to deal with the apocalypse. What matters is that we survived and we’re okay,” Five says, his voice slightly getting desperate _ (not that he’ll admit it).  _

Klaus actually has the audacity to laugh again. 

“I don’t think you could’ve properly dealt with your apocalypse trauma while in the apocalypse. Besides, being alive doesn’t mean okay.” Klaus’ voice trails off at the end.

Five actually stops. He thinks about it. Back in the apocalypse, all that mattered was surviving and finding a way to get back.  _ Surely _ surviving meant being okay. But Five has noticed the signs. He’s noticed the way the dust seems to have permanently lodged itself in his throat. He’s noticed the fact that he constantly saves food for later. He’s noticed the problems his siblings seem to be going through. 

“Do I really have PTSD?” He curses himself for sounding so quiet. 

Klaus’ face softens at him and it makes Five seel like a child, which he’s not. 

“I can’t diagnose you, but it looks like it to me,” He says. He opens up his arms. “C’mere.” 

For once, Five doesn’t deny the hug. He shouldn’t be surprised that he forgot what a hug feels like, but he’s surprised nonetheless. He’s never been a big hugger, but he used to comfort Vanya with hugs when they were younger. Now that he thinks about it, he hasn’t  _ really  _ been paying attention to her since he got back. He hasn’t been paying attention to his entire family whom he loves so much. 

“I guess the others aren’t okay either,” He says and if Klaus tells anyone that his voice cracked he will be murdered. 

Five rapidly blinks in an attempt to get rid of the tears that are stinging in his eyes. Crying is weakness and weakness can and will be used against him. 

“Ben and I are going to go out to eat with Diego,” Klaus says quietly. “It’s an even number club thing, but I’m sure you can come with us. Or better yet! You can stay here and sleep!”

“Actually,” Five begins. He swallows the lump in his throat. “Actually, I think I’ll stay here and maybe talk to one of our other siblings. Then I’ll sleep.” 

Klaus hums. 

“As long as you get some sleep.” 

They seperate from the hug and Five tries desperately to ignore the fact that it ever happened. Klaus seems to respect that and doesn’t mention it either. Instead, he just gets up and moves to the door. 

“Everyone’s going through a lot of shit right now. We always are. Even so, we’ll all be there to listen if you just need someone to talk to.” 

Then, Klaus is gone. 

Five is alone with his thoughts and unprocessed emotions. 

They never do have it easy, do they?

  
  



	2. Burns Half As Long When It’s Twice As Bright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus is trying to deal with withdrawal and PTSD all while keeping his siblings at a distance. (Part of him wishes they'd notice)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Klaus' chapter. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this. 
> 
> Again, chapter title is from 'Stargazing' by Kygo ft. Justin Jesso

Klaus has been agonizingly sober ever since the kinda-apocalypse. The ghosts are extremely loud and there isn’t even Vanya’s usual violin playing to help drown them out. 

He remembers when they were all younger, before he got into drugs, Vanya’s violin playing used to help him. She practiced whenever they weren’t in class and even when they were in class she’d be humming melodies. Klaus doesn’t think she ever noticed she did it, but Pogo said nothing and everyone else enjoyed it too much to risk it being stopped. 

It’s so quiet in the house now. Other than the screaming ghosts. He’s tried talking to Vanya a few times, but he can’t get through to her. She only answers in single syllables, if she answers at all. Klaus wishes he knew what to say, but he can’t even get her to look at him. 

It’s hard for him, too. Seeing her after Luther locked her in that bunker, which they’ve now gotten rid of, just served as a reminder for his time in the mausoleum. He still has nightmares of it to this day, only now the nightmares usually include Vietnam. 

He desperately wishes to just take a drink of alcohol or roll a joint and have a smoke, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t because Ben is so happy for him and he still needs to conjure Dave and he  _ can’t  _ run away from his problems anymore. He did that before. He ran away from Vanya when she was locked in the cage because it reminded him of his trauma that he didn’t want to face and then she caused the apocalypse. So, no, no more running away from his problems. 

He likes looking out his window at night to gaze at the stars. They’re comforting and a reminder that it’s not pitch black. The ghosts get so much worse in the dark and stargazing helps him ignore them. Sometimes, he even goes up to the attic and watches from the window there.

Ben joins him most of the time, even if he is hanging around their siblings more often. Ever since Klaus was able to conjure him, their siblings have begun “talking” to him. In reality, he’s only there half the time, but no need to tell them all that. 

“Klaus,” Ben’s soft voice rings through his head. 

“Hey Casper! What has drawn you to my wonderful presence?” Klaus asks with his usual cheeriness. 

“Everyone in this family needs therapy,” Ben says, a concerned look on his face. 

“Just figure that out?” Klaus laughs. 

Ben shakes his head, but still has the look on his face. Eventually, he sighs and turns to Klaus. 

“Any luck with Dave?” He changes the subject. 

Klaus frowns. Ben seems to take that as an answer, and he hovers next to Klaus. Klaus doesn’t even have the dog tags anymore. Hell, Dave might not have even met Klaus because of the timeline shenanigans they did. 

“You should talk to people,” Ben suggests. 

“And make them feel bad because they didn’t notice I was kidnapped, tortured, and sent back to ‘Nam? They don’t even know about the mausoleum.” 

Klaus’ hands twitch and he once again wishes to have a hit of something. If there is one thing Klaus knows for certain, it’s that withdrawal is a bitch. It’s even more of a bitch than the little girl God. 

“Klaus?” 

He turns at the new voice. He hadn’t heard Luther come up, but he wasn’t really paying attention. Some lookout he would be. 

“Luther! Welcome to my humble abode!” 

Luther furrows his eyebrows. 

“This is the attic?” His voice is full of confusion. 

“Same difference,” Klaus mumbles. 

There’s an awkward silence. Klaus turns back to the stars. He doesn’t want to leave and, if Luther’s expecting he will, then he’s setting himself up for disappointment. 

“Uh… Klaus?” 

“Yeah?” Klaus says without looking back. 

“Can I join you?” 

Luther’s voice is small; it’s hesitant. If Klaus could focus, he’d probably think up some snarky remark about number 1 suddenly not voicing his opinions. Instead, all he can think about is the confusion at the idea that one of siblings wants to spend time with  _ him.  _

“Uh, of course! Come! Best seats in the entire house!” Klaus tries to go for a cheerful tone, but his voice wavers a bit. 

“Great! Looks like you have the perfect opportunity to talk things out with the rest of your siblings. Remember to talk to him,” Ben says before he leaves. 

Klaus hisses in the direction he left. He hisses because Ben left him to have family confrontation  _ alone.  _ He should know that the Hargreeves never talk about their issues. 

“Was that Ben?” Luther asks, looking extremely uncomfortable. 

Klaus nods, and then scoots over to make room for Luther. Luther struggles to get settled, but Klaus can’t really make fun of him for it. Their dad fucked them all up. Still, Klaus can’t help but shift uncomfortably. He remembers being shocked by Luther and remembers dying in the rave. 

Luther seems to notice Klaus’ discomfort and a million emotions—concern, worry, regret, and numerous others—flash through his eyes. He looks up at the moon, takes a deep breath, and turns back to Klaus. 

“I’m sorry,” He says. 

Klaus blinks. He wants to laugh the apology off, but he finds that his words are caught in his throat. Luther doesn’t seem to notice and instead continues speaking. 

“I’ve been a horrible leader. No, I’ve been a horrible brother. This isn’t about number status, nor is it about the academy. I should’ve been a better brother to you, but instead I ignored you, and berated you, and I even hurt you! I really messed up Klaus, and I don’t need your forgiveness, but I want you to know that I will be trying to be better.” 

Klaus isn’t really sure how to verbally respond to that, so he responds tactilely. He reaches over and hugs Luther. There’s not a vast difference in height, but Luther’s broad shoulders and Klaus’ thin structure makes the hug a bit awkward. 

“Do you want me to grow you any flowers to add to your hair or for your clothes? I’m starting a greenhouse, in case you didn’t know,” Luther says after a few moments of hugging. 

Klaus nods, still doesn’t move from the hug, proceeds to list off numerous flowers he likes, and everything is okay. It’s okay because the family is slowly healing and, sure not everyone knows about everything Klaus has been through yet, but they’ll get there. For now, they’ll focus on mending broken relationships and Klaus knows that, eventually, he’ll be comfortable opening up. For now, he’ll enjoy the fact that his siblings will begin to actually listen to him. 

Everything will be okay. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post the first two chapters together because why not.


	3. I’m Trying to Save Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luther is trying to be a better brother and trying to mend his relationships with his siblings. It’s harder than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luther's chapter! Yay!
> 
> NO Luther hating allowed in the comments! You can hate him in silence all you want, you can skip over this chapter, but I don't want any hate comments in my comments(Unless, of course, they're directed at a certain Reginald Hargreeves. In that case, go off). 
> 
> Chapter title is, once again, from 'Stargazing' by Kygo ft. Justin Jesso.

Luther’s done a lot of reflection since coming back to the past. Though, it’s already past April 1st, so perhaps calling it the past isn’t the best thing. The point is, Luther’s been doing a lot of thinking. In essence, Luther has realised what a shit brother he’s been. 

He shouldn’t have locked Vanya in the bunker under the academy. He shouldn’t have betrayed her in that way. He should’ve  _ actually _ hugged her with the intent to comfort her. She had hurt Allison, yes, but it wasn’t the first time the siblings had hurt each other with their powers. 

He messed up with Klaus. He messed up with a lot of siblings, but especially with Klaus. All of their lives, he dismissed him.  _ (Luther has a few vague memories of them all being close as young children, but that doesn’t really matter now).  _

Luther’s trying. He’s really trying, but he doesn’t have experience with being a good sibling. He’s tried talking to his siblings, but Allison is stressed about her daughter, Ben is dead, he doesn’t even know where to start with Klaus, Five is always busy with his equations, Vanya’s practically catatonic, and Diego’s always glaring daggers into their walls. 

He wants to connect with his siblings. He wants to do better, but he doesn’t know where to start. Every time he enters a room they’re in, he freezes up. His bind blanks and he can’t find the words to say, so he just leaves. 

He starts a garden. He starts a garden because it helps him think. He thinks about ways to connect with his siblings and makes sure to grow foods they like. Well, food he thinks they’d like. He, regrettably, doesn’t really know a lot about them. He should work on that. 

At the moment, he’s in his garden looking at the new packs of seeds he’s bought. He had gotten all of them because he thought they’d all be nice additions, but now he finds himself out of room. Apparently he has two problems to deal with now. 

It helps in a way. 

He’s able to focus on a smaller problem and can try to find solutions for his bigger ones. He hasn’t made any real progress with his familial bonds, but it’s all about trial and error. He just wishes he knew how to talk to them. 

“Luther.” It’s Allison’s voice. 

He considers that starting with the sibling he was closest to as a child may help. So, he turns and takes a deep breath. To put it bluntly, Allison looks bad. She looks bad in the sense that her eyes are red from crying and she looks like she hasn’t gotten a lot of sleep. 

“Sorry I haven’t come to see your garden yet. I’ve just been dealing with a lot,” She continues. 

“No it’s okay. Uh, do you want to talk about it?” He asks awkwardly. 

She smiles a humorless smile and shakes her head. He thinks it makes her seem even more tired. Maybe he should grow some chamomile; the entire family has sleep problems. 

“I don’t think I’m up for it. I just came out here to clear my head,” Her voice is a bit hoarse, like she’s been straining her throat.  _ (She probably has been).  _

“What about you?” 

Luther grimaces. He opens his mouth a few times, but ultimately stays silent. He’s struggling to put his thoughts into words. Allison seems to sense his troubles and she places a hand on his arm. 

“I messed up Allison,” He admits. 

“That you did,” She says bluntly. “But, we all have.” 

“I want to fix it. I really want to fix it. I just don’t know how. Everytime I try to start a conversation, the words die almost instantly. I don’t know how to move past this.” 

Allison hums. It sounds a bit off because of her, presumably, sore throat, but the sound is comforting nonetheless. Her eyebrows scrunch and she looks into the distance in the way that makes Luther know she’s in deep thought. 

“As hard as it is for us Hargreeves to believe, apologising really is the next step.” 

“Are you sure?” Luther asks. 

She looks at him like he’s stupid which, honestly, he might be. Then again, he’s pretty sure the entire family lacks common sense, so he tries not to take it too seriously. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll start apologising. How do I bring it up though?” 

Allison chuckles a bit and Luther has a slight feeling she’s laughing at whatever look is on his face right now. His siblings have often told him his expressions are like that of a puppy’s. 

“Just say it,” She says, which honestly isn’t very helpful to a Hargreeves. 

Luther takes a look around as if his garden holds the wikihow page on how to apologise. Well, not really because Luther doesn’t know what wikihow is, but the comparison has to be made somehow. 

“The garden,” Luther whispers, an idea coming to him. 

Allison tilts her head in confusion. 

“I can grow stuff for our siblings as an extra-apology.” 

He smiles at Allison and he’s  _ so  _ excited because now he actually thinks he has a chance at moving forward with his siblings. He has a chance to, not erase the bad things he’s done, but learn from his mistakes and show his siblings that he does care. 

“Thank you, Allison. I couldn’t have done this without you,” He goes to hug her and she readily accepts. 

She laughs and Luther really hopes he can make all of his siblings laugh like this. He really hopes that they can all be happy. 

“You’re trying, Luther. You would’ve gotten to an answer eventually. I just gave you an extra shove in the right direction since I’m obviously the best sibling,” Allison says and proceeds to laugh even more. 

Later, he will look at the moon with Klaus and apologies. There will be tears, but also lots of hugging. There will be a lot of things left unsaid between them, and there will be a lot of healing left to do, but they’ll be on the right path. 

Later, he’ll bring Five coffee and actually convince him to take a break. There will be more apologies, but this time apologies for not being closer as kids. It’ll be apologies for letting their dad, and their respective opinions of said man, create a rift between them, when really all Luther wanted was to be closer to his twin. 

Later, he’ll duck into Vanya’s room. He’ll apologise for locking her up and he’ll cry. He’ll cry when she doesn’t even acknowledge him and he’ll fear it’s too late. Before he leaves, he’ll make a joke about her blowing up the moon and thus getting rid of his moon trauma. It’s a stupid joke, but she’ll glance in his direction and a small smile will tug at her lips, so he knows it’ll be okay. 

Later, he’ll talk to Diego. It’ll actually be a talk and there won’t be any shouting. Luther will apologise for letting their childhood rivalry go so far, and Diego will also apologize. Diego will promise to teach Luther a bit about the world, and even if he makes a snarky remark, Luther knows there’s no hostility behind it. 

Later, it’ll be okay. Ben will be back and there will be more tears and apologies there, but it’ll be okay. They’ll be able to fully love each other and, maybe they’ll never fully heal, but they’ll at least have each other. 

For now, though. For now Luther happily shows Allison around his garden. He points out different plants and asks her opinion on which seeds to plant. He tells her the names of his plants and she’ll smile when he points out Mr. Pennycrumb—a plant named after a dog they all found in an alley that Five absolutely adored. 

For now, Luther can enjoy spending time with his sister and best friend. 

In the end, healing takes small steps. 

  
  



	4. Let’s Make Up Our Own Minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allison is coping with nightmares of losing her voice while trying to deal with the fact that, if her rumor ruined Vanya’s life, her rumor could ruin Claire's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Allison! 
> 
> I'm sure you can figure out where the title is from, so I won't even bother with it. 
> 
> We're half-way done with this little story, I hope you're enjoying so far.

Allison can’t sleep. She just  _ can’t.  _ Her thoughts are plagued with warm blood on her fingertips and the feeling of not being able to breathe. She remembers choking and watching panic flood her sister’s eyes. 

When she can sleep, she’s awoken by nightmares because she can still feel her throat injury. She cries. She cries because she understands what effects a rumor can have and she rumored her  _ daughter.  _ The light of her life whom she swore to protect and love unconditionally. 

She cries until her throat becomes raw. She finds it hard to speak, and then she cries even more because the lack of her voice sends her into a panic. She’ll be surprised if she can even speak after this.  _ (The thought sends her into another round of hysterical sobbing).  _

Their mom is a godsend. She always makes tea and uses the right amount of honey for Allison’s throat. She seems a bit confused with how they’re acting sometimes, but she loves them nonetheless. Despite being a machine, Allison knows that their mom is better at parenting than she is. 

In hindsight, she probably should’ve seen a therapist before she even thought about having a child. Of course, she’d never thought about it. She’d seen herself as above trauma. Afterall, her power was perfect. She could get anything she wanted; she  _ did _ get anything she wanted. Except it was all superficial. 

At least her bonds with her family will be real. She’s always been close with Luther, rumoring never involved, and she’s talking with her other siblings.  _ (Talking is a strong word—she talks to thin air when she hopes Ben will be there and talks to a room that might as well be empty with Vanya. She has done Klaus’ nails a couple of times, though, so that’s a plus).  _

She doesn’t talk to Five all that much. Of course, she checks up on him and she tries to have conversations with him, but she knows her maternal instincts can annoy him sometimes. As children, they were never close. She’d thought of him as arrogant, which he was, and he’d thought the same of her. They didn’t get along, but she still loves him. She’s been trying to think of ways for them to interact, but so far has come up short. 

Allison’s relationship with Diego was always weird. They’d both been part of the top 3 numbers, so they were friendly, but Diego’s rivalry with Luther often put him at odds with the could-be trio. Instead, he often hung out with the other even numbers, leaving Allison and Luther to become a duo. 

As of now, Allison’s been hanging around their mom a lot, and Diego is always around their mom, so she’s been spending more time with him. It’s nice, even if Diego spends half the time looking like he wishes he could stab the wall. He only doesn’t because it would make their mom upset and he wouldn’t be able to deal with that. 

In fact, that’s what’s happening right now. Allison is happily drinking some tea _ (not chamomile, she’ll wait for Luther’s chamomile plants to grow for that) _ while Diego flips one of his knives as he glares at the wall. 

He has a scowl on his face, and everything about the situation causes Allison to lightly laugh into her mug. Apparently, Diego now has Vanya’s hearing because he turns to her instantly. Instead of immediately saying something like Allison thought he would, he just stares. 

“You look like shit,” He states bluntly. He points his knife at her. “You been getting any sleep?” 

She flips him off because, a, she doesn’t want to talk about it and, b, he looks pretty bad as well. He has bags under his eyes and numerous bruises. 

“You’re one to talk. You still doing your late-night vigilante stunts?” She taunts. 

His scowl deepens and throws the knife at her. It doesn’t hurt her, she didn’t expect it to, but it does tear her shirt. It’s one of her favorites, and, judging from his expression on Diego’s face, he totally knew it. 

“Oh so we’re doing this now? What are you, nine?” She scoffs. 

She hears the sound of their mom doing the dishes falter, but she doesn’t pay attention to it. Instead, she looks at Diego, daring him to say something back. 

“Whatever you say,  _ Number 3 _ ,” He taunts back, but the strain put on his smirk betrays the fact that he knows he’s messed up and maybe even regrets it. Allison, though, doesn’t care if deep down in his mushy center he’s sorry, because now she’s pissed. 

“Oh we’re doing the number bullshit now. Real mature, Diego,” Allison says, her voice in the state of in between normal talking and yelling. 

“Children! No fighting! Allison, you shouldn’t be straining your voice, you’ve had a sore throat these past few days. Diego, dear, please take the knife out of the wall. It’s messing up the wallpaper. And be nice to your sister.” Grace in all her motherly glory scolds them and the fighting instantly stops. 

Diego looks guilty and mumbles a small ‘sorry’. Allison apologizes as well and turns back to her tea. Their mother seems satisfied and goes back to work. An uncomfortable silence descends upon Diego and Allison. 

“I can sew your shirt back up for you. I’m n-not as good as mom, but I can do it pretty well. Think o-of it as an a-a-apology,” Diego mutters. 

Allison smiles because at least Diego’s actually apologising. A couple months ago, and he wouldn’t have done it. Hell, a couple of weeks ago and he wouldn’t have done it. 

“I accept your apology,” Allison replies. 

Another silence appears, but it’s more comfortable this time. 

“Seriously, have you been getting any sleep?” Diego asks. 

Allison thinks about lying, but doesn’t really see a point, so she just shrugs. He gets up, walks to her side of the table, and sits next to her. 

“Wanna talk about it?” 

Allison shrugs again. She feels her throat clog up with emotions and tries not to panic again. She tries to blink back tears, but quickly fails. From the corner of her vision she can see Diego looking extremely uncomfortable, but he still stays. 

“Claire,” Allison manages to get out. He nods.

“You can’t control what you’ve already done, time travel not included, but you can control what you do now. You j-just need to focus o-on be-being there f-for Clair n-now a-and go to-to th-therapy,” He says. “She’ll l-love you no m-matter what b-because you are a b-better parent th-than d-dad was.” 

Allison sniffs. Diego’s hand does an awkward jerk, as if he was debating grabbing her hand, but ultimately his hands stay by his side. Still, the idea that Diego thought of doing it is enough for her. 

“When did you gain such knowledge?” Allison asks. 

“Learned from Mom,” He says, grinning. 

Allison feels like grinning too. She’ll keep going to therapy and she’ll eventually get to see her beautiful little girl again. She’ll get to hold her and she’ll work to undo any effects the rumor might’ve had. 

Best thing is, she knows she’ll have her family by her side the entire time. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't even planning on the fight between Allison and Diego, it just happened! I put them in a room together and they just instantly got on each other's nerves! 
> 
> Oh well, at least Diego's trying. We all know he's a big emotional mess underneath his hard exterior. 
> 
> I actually really enjoyed writing this chapter, so that's nice.


	5. You Blame Human Nature, and Say It’s Unkind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego is trying to learn that he doesn’t have to forgive Vanya for her book, but they can still move forward and be a family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* I think by now you know what the title is from.

Diego has a lot of problems. Most of them boil down to his emotions. It’s something he’s always been bad with, especially because of a certain Reginald Hargreeves. In their house, they were taught that emotions were a weakness. Now, Diego can’t even begin to navigate them. His default emotion when he’s hurt is anger, which is what he feels now. 

He’s pissed because everyone suddenly forgives Vanya. None of them say it out loud, but he can tell that they just want him to drop it. They want him to drop it and forgive her because apparently they were such bad siblings that she ended the world, so now everyone acts as if she’ll go off at any moment. 

He’s not even mad at the apocalypse. He’s already forgiven her for that, everyone has. There were a lot of things that led up to it, and they stopped it anyway. He is mad about the book. Well, not mad. He stopped being mad a while ago. He just hasn’t forgiven her. The problem is, his emotions keep swirling back to anger because he can’t deal with vulnerability.

He talks to their mom about it a lot. She always knows what to say and, more importantly, she always listens. She’s one of the only people Diego can ever be vulnerable around, so it helps. Whenever she patches him up after he comes home from a night of fighting crime, he finds himself talking about his problems. 

He talks about the book and the aftermath it had. He speaks of his stutter coming back full-force and nightmares of being trapped in the tank resurfacing. He speaks of he still can’t take baths because of the trauma and the book made the wound so fresh that he had trouble even getting in the shower. He speaks of feeling the chains around his wrists and ankles, the cold metal digging into his skin until he eventually stopped struggling, and how he would rub them until the skin was raw just to get rid of the feeling. 

He speaks of Vanya and his feelings. He’d truly felt that they’d been getting closer as adults. He and Klaus would stop by her place and they’d have actual meals together. She was slowly coming out of her shell, looking back on it she wasn’t taking her meds as much when they came over, and he actually got along with her. They would engage in friendly banter, something he would’ve never associated with timid little Vanya, and it was looking like he had a good friend. Klaus had another place he could crash at and it had felt almost domestic. They would steal food from each other and criticize the movies Allison was in. 

Then he got kicked out of the police academy. It had been a pretty nasty fight, but that guy was getting on his nerves. The guy had even gotten off with just a slap on the wrist. Needless to say, Diego was pissed. He’d run into Klaus on his walk away from the police academy, and he’d been instantly dragged to Vanya’s to clean the wounds. They’d interrupted one of her lessons and  _ maybe _ they scared her student, but that didn’t mean Vanya could just give their secrets to the world. Sure, he went without contacting her for a few months, but that really wasn’t his fault. He’d been stressed because he was looking for potential jobs since obviously being part of the police department wasn’t in his future, and he’d started going out to stop crime on his own. Eudora broke up with him and he was a mess. 

He hadn’t meant to go so long without talking to Vanya. That didn’t give her the right to write the book, though. They were all adults who had their own problems. There were numerous times when he thought about getting takeout and going to her place, but there was always crime to fight. After she published her book, he didn’t really think about contacting her anymore. 

It’s different now. He still hates the book and hates that she wrote it, but he’s honestly tired of being angry. The world literally ended because their entire family was angry with each other. He wants to be a family, but he’s not sure how to do that without moving past the book. 

“You don’t need to forgive her, Diego,” His mom’s voice cuts through his internal ramblings. 

_ What?  _

“What do you mean?” He asks, confusion evident on his face. 

“You don’t need to forgive her to move on, silly. The book really hurt you, but you can still move on. Now go talk to her, I have to make dinner.” She turns away, a smile still on her face. 

Diego stands there for a moment, unsure what to do. Then, he turns and begins walking to Vanya’s room. It’s not her childhood room, but it’s the room she stays in now. It’s nice enough and Diego supposes there aren’t any bad memories associated with it. Though, he suspects the real reason she’s there is because Klaus tore down the wall separating their rooms years ago. 

Diego arrives at her door far too soon. He thinks of their mom’s advice, but he still can’t fully grasp them. Instead of pondering them further, he takes a deep breath and knocks on the door before opening it. As expected, Vanya’s staring blankly at the wall. She’s been like that since they got back which was just over a month ago. He knows their mom is making sure Vanya is eating and takes her on 2 walks a day to keep her muscles working, but she still looks so fragile. 

“Vanya,” He says. 

No acknowledgement. 

He tries again. 

“Vanya. This is important so you better pay attention,” He says louder. 

She turns her head and locks eyes with him. He’s not entirely sure she really is listening, but he doesn’t think he’ll get a verbal response from her. 

“Before I start, this isn’t about the apocalypse. I already forgive you for that, surprisingly. The point is, your book r-really f-fucked me up sis,” He begins and internally cursing his stutter. 

“I’m sorry,” She says. 

His thought process screeches to a stop. Of course, the fact that he wasn’t sure he’d  _ ever  _ hear a verbal response from her again causes some shock, but also, she says it with just emotion and conviction that he immediately believes her. He hears the regret and guilt in her voice and he feels relieved. He’s relieved because he’s not sure what he’d do if she  _ didn’t  _ regret it. It means more than he thought it would to know she’s sorry, and he thinks he understands what their mom meant. 

“That means a lot,” He says truthfully. “But I don’t forgive you.” 

She just looks resigned to the fact. 

“It means a lot to know that you’re sorry. It means more than you understand, but I’m n-not obligated t-to for-orgive you. I d-don’t f-f-forgive you, but I-I’m ready to m-move on.” He takes a deep breath and tries to picture the words in his mind. 

“You’re my s-sister and I,” He pauses as he desperately tries not to stutter out the next few words. “I l-l-love you.” He grimaces at the stutter. 

Vanya doesn’t seem to judge him for the stutter, his family never has, but she looks surprised. It almost looks like she didn’t know she was loved. No, it goes deeper than that. It looks as if she thought she was hated.  _ (He tries to push the part of him that knows she thought that).  _

“I love this entire fucked up f-family.” He takes a step closer. “For once I-I want us to be a r-r-real f-family.” He sits on the edge of the bed and holds out his hand towards her. “L-let’s do this t-together, yeah?” 

She bursts into tears, but still grabs his hand. She sobs for a solid 10 minutes before she turns to quiet crying. Half an hour after their talk, Diego’s walking around the house and he **_knows_** Vanya will be back to staring at the wall, but her eyes showed more emotion when he left and he can still feel the warmth of her hand in his, so things are looking up. 

This family is a trainwreck, but at least they’re all in it together.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually been really looking forward to writing this and it's one of my favorite chapters, it not my favorite so far. I LOVE Vanya, but she shouldn't of published that book. I just felt that I needed to write a confrontation between them that ended happily. 
> 
> Also, I LIVE for Vanya & Diego friendship. I like to think that if she'd grown up knowing about her powers they'd have been close. From what I can tell from season 2 Vanya mixed with my own headcanons, I think her actual not drugged induced personality would fit well with Diego. 
> 
> Anyway, next chapter will be either Ben or Vanya(not telling you kids what yet), so we're returning to the main characters of the series! Yay!!


	6. We’ve Been Meteoric, Even Before This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya refuses to talk to anyone—the guilt is eating her away because she ended the world. She caused the apocalypse and part of her can't help remember how much she enjoyed it.

Vanya’s not entirely sure how long it’s been since she’s come back. She remembers feeling a gunshot, and then she had awoken in the infirmary. Soon, she was moved to another room where she’s been spending most of her time. Sure, their mom comes and makes sure she goes for walks and tries to get her to eat, but Vanya just can’t do it. 

She feels empty. It’s an emptiness that’s different than when she was on the pills. It’s an emptiness that is caused by tears that have run out. It’s an emptiness caused by a crushing and hollow feeling in her chest because it feels like she’s missing part of herself. 

The problem is, Vanya ended the world. She brought the apocalypse which has robbed Five of his childhood, and she will never forgive herself for it. She caused billions of deaths and, it doesn’t really matter that they changed it because she  _ knows _ it happened. 

The problem is, Vanya ended the world. She wishes that was where the problems ended because it would be so much easier to deal with. The regret alone would be so much easier to do it. No, the problem is, Vanya caused the apocalypse, and it was beautiful. 

Vanya’s not sure anything will ever be able to compare to how she felt at the end of the world. She was  _ everything _ . She wasn’t Vanya Hargreeves because she was the energy that filled the vastness which is existence. She was the missing puzzle piece and she could  _ feel  _ the universe’s reaction to her arrival. 

It was like the universe was humming under her fingertips. 

The problem is, Vanya loved the apocalypse. A part of her will  _ never _ be able to let go of that love. Everything was right and she wasn’t human anymore. She was something  _ more _ ; she was something  **_greater_ ** . 

The problem is, Vanya deeply regrets causing the apocalypse, but she can’t deny the fact that she loved every moment of it. She can’t tell her siblings. What would she even tell them? That she enjoyed it?  _ That she almost wants to do it again?  _ No. They’d lock her up again and she  _ can’t  _ let that happen. 

So, she stays quiet. She stays empty because she’s lost this amazing thing that no one will ever be able to understand. She stays empty because she does regret it, but she’s also scared she’ll let it happen again. She doesn’t talk to her siblings because she doesn’t deserve their forgiveness. 

She thinks if she just stays in this room forever and fades to dust, then the rest of the world would be much better off. Of course, her siblings don’t seem to agree with her, as at least once a day she has one of them in her room. 

She hears them before she sees them. She hears footsteps running towards her room, and she briefly wonders if they’re here to kill here. She shakes the thought off because of course they wouldn’t. No, it’s probably Allison coming to tell her she’s able to see Claire, or it’s Klaus coming to show her new clothes he’s bought. 

The door opens and she finds out she’s wrong. It’s not who she thought it would be. Of course, she hears it before she sees it. She’s staring at the wall, but the voice isn’t Allison’s or Klaus’ and she knows exactly who it is. If she actually focuses on what her siblings are saying downstairs, she can tell they’re all celebrating. 

“FIVE GOT ME A BODY!” Then, as an afterthought, “Wow that’s weird to say.” But he laughs, so Vanya thinks he’s okay. 

He’s more than okay because Vanya has turned, and she can actually see  _ Ben.  _ She sees her(formerly?) dead brother, and he’s smiling like it’s the best day ever. For him, it probably is. 

She doesn’t even have time to blink before she’s embraced in his arms. The force pushes them down onto the bed, but Ben’s laughing and crying at the same time, and, surprisingly, Vanya thinks she is too. Because Ben is alive, and she never thought she’d hold him again. 

And maybe this is what she needed. Maybe she just needed a reminder that, right now, she is human. Right now she’s alive and with her brother who’s  _ also _ alive, and she feels like she’s floating. 

“You’re alive,” She manages to get out, and they both laugh even harder. 

She lightly pulls away just to look at him. She can hear his heartbeat, and it’s the most beautiful sound in the world. She doesn’t even stop to think about how he’s alive because all that matters is that he’s  _ here  _ and it’s not a dream. 

“I missed you. It’s so hard to believe which is weird because I’ve known you were here because I saw you at the concert—” She breaks off her ranting, not wanting to go down that path. 

“I’ve been here all along,” He says quietly and she bursts into tears again. 

“Why don’t we get out of this room? We can go to the library,” He suggests. 

Vanya instantly shakes her head because she doesn’t want to leave this room. She likes to pretend the room is soundproof and likes to ignore her powers, but if she leaves she can’t do that and she doesn’t want to lose control again. 

“Why not?” He asks, and there’s genuine concern on his face, and Vanya knows he’s too pure to be associating with her because she’s  _ ( _ _ ethereal, powerful, pure energy, pure light, something beyond humans, a god _ _ )  _ a monster. 

“I don’t want to run into our siblings,” She says. 

It’s not the whole truth. The truth is she’s in a conflicted state and she just wants to fade into the background like she always did in childhood. She wants to make sure she never hurts the people she loves again. 

“They’re not going to hurt you,” Ben says, and she believes him, but that’s not the problem. 

Still, something about seeing him  _ alive _ makes her feel the need to explain something to him. She wants to tell him because he’s her brother who she created a secret code with. He’s her brother who brought universes to life with her, and he’s the brother she planned an escape with. 

“It was extraordinary.” Her voice is a hoarse whisper, but it’s the first time she’s spoken about this outloud. 

“What?” He’s confused, of course he is. She debates changing the subject, but it’s too late now. 

“The apocalypse.” 

He looks shocked for a moment, takes a moment to process things, and then he smiles at her. 

“Tell me about it. From your perspective.” 

She does. Through tears she tells him all about the apocalypse. She tells him about the energy under her skin which was begging to be released. She tells him about how the universe sounded and how pleased it seemed when she became one with it. She tells him about the knowledge that the universe would completely change if she’d been allowed to fully merge with it. She explains to him that she could already feel the universe slightly re-writing itself to accommodate her. She cries even more when she tells him she just  _ knows _ Earth wouldn’t be the only thing affected by the change. 

_ (The two of them don’t know it, and since Vanya will never tell Five this information either then he won’t know it, but this is exactly what The Handler meant by “not the end of everything, just the end of something”).  _

She tells him about not wanting to hurt their siblings. She explains that she hadn’t fully  _ realised _ she was killing them as she held them with her light. All she had known at the time was that they were becoming one being and, really, individuality meant nothing to her when she was dancing with infinity. 

She tells him her fears of causing the apocalypse again. A part of her wants to go back to that state, and that part of her scares her. In return, Ben tells her about watching Klaus’ addiction. He tells her that it’s really not that different. He tells her it will be a constant battle, but he knows she can do it. 

“It won’t be easy. I can’t comprehend how addicting that state must be for you, but in time you’ll get a better grip on your powers.” He pauses to think. 

“Imagine a tap. You’re thirsty and you need the water, but you can’t cause a flood. You just need to learn to control the amount of power you call upon. There will be times when you want to give in to temptation, but I believe you’ll be able to handle it. You’ll have all of us by your side the entire time.” 

He locks their hands together and squeezes. 

“You aren’t alone at the table anymore, Vanya. You can do this,” He whispers. 

She cries some more. She cries and it’s refreshing because she’s finally coming to terms with everything. Ben holds her as she cries and she’s not sure she’s ever felt this warm. 

For the first time in her life, Vanya realizes she’s never really been alone. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rsetdflihuga I really liked writing this chapter. 
> 
> Did I add the line Ben told Vanya in episode 9 of season 2? Yes I did. Did I almost make me cry? Yes it did. 
> 
> I've been really looking forward to writing this chapter and I'm very happy with it. 
> 
> In case you can't tell, Vanya's my fave.
> 
> I've stopped mentioning where the titles are from, because it's all from the same song!


	7. And I Will Still Be Here

Ben’s not sure if he’ll ever get used to being alive again. It’s great, really, but he’s not sure he’ll get used to it. He’s not sure he  _ wants _ to. He doesn’t ever want to take being alive for granted. He wants to appreciate each breath he takes. He wants to stop and just feel the world around him after 13 long years of being dead. 

There are other parts of being alive he still hasn’t gotten used to. One being the fact that people can see him. A lot of the time, he’ll walk in a room and just watch his siblings with a small smile. They’ll send him confused looks before eventually asking him what’s up. Then, he has to embarrassingly tell them that he was just staring because he’s not used to being able to interact. His siblings laugh it off everytime, but he still doesn’t like to be caught. 

That isn’t enough to bring his mood down, though. Nothing can bring him down from the high of being alive because he can eat their mom’s cooking, and he can talk to his siblings, and he can walk back into the 2nd story library in the east wing and pick up the books. He can feel the pages, and he can smell the pages. 

Somehow, he finds himself standing in the doorway to Five’s room. He’s been spending a lot of time with his siblings, but looking into Five’s room makes his heart _ (his  _ **_heart_ ** _ which he has)  _ ache. It brings back memories of the first time he was alive; it makes him remember the nights spent with Five and Vanya in this very room. 

“You need help with something?” Five asks, not looking up from his equations. 

“Can I come in?” Ben asks. 

Five turns to him this time and raises an eyebrow, but he allows it nonetheless. Ben sits on the bed and looks at the chaotic organization which has occurred in Five’s room. It’s so utterly Five, and Ben finds himself smiling. 

“I’ll ask again, do you need help with something?” Five’s voice has an undertone of annoyance, but Ben knows that’s just because he’s always found time valuable and thus doesn’t like people wasting it. 

Ben tries to form his thoughts into words, but he can’t organize them enough, so he changes the subject. 

“How do you find anything in here?” Ben asks. 

Five frowns at the subject change, but for some reason doesn’t comment on it. He just looks around the room, scowls, then looks back at him. 

“Actually, I haven’t been able to find one of my physics books. I’m trying to figure something out, and I have some equations in the book that might help.” 

Ben knows the book he’s talking about; it had always been Five’s favorite. Ben remembers sitting with Vanya and Five in the library while Five read the same physics book for what seemed like the millionth time. 

“Uh, it was at Vanya’s apartment so it was brought with her other stuff,” Ben says. “But what do you need it for?” 

“Vanya’s? Why did she have it?” Five asks. 

“She took stuff that connected to both of us. To remind her of her lost brothers,” Ben explains. 

Five’s expression falters at that. Ben doesn’t try to place an emotion to it, but if he did he would’ve decided on remorse and guilt. At the moment, Ben’s more focused on the fact that Five hasn’t answered his question. 

“Why do you need it?” Ben tries again. 

“I was working out the differences between shoving a body-less conscious into a new body and a conscious that has a body. To be short, I was working out how to make me a new body when I realized something odd about this one,” Five says. 

“What?” 

“I’m not aging.” Five briefly looks into the distance then back at Ben. “None of my cells are dying, and no new cells are being made. This body is stuck in time.” 

Huh. 

Ben wasn’t expecting that. Ben knows that Five messed up his equations, but he wasn’t expecting it to affect Five’s body so drastically. He understands what it’s like to be stuck, and while being dead is different than being stuck in an ageless body, Ben still feels empathetic. 

“I’m sorry,” Ben states earnestly. 

Five shrugs him off. 

“I’ll figure it out soon. Now why are you here?” 

“I can’t hang out with my brother?” Ben says laughing because it’s so like them to not believe in simply hanging out for the sake of it. 

“But you’re right. I wanted to say thank you.” 

Five looks taken aback by his words. Ben doesn’t think their siblings really acknowledge the fact that Five defied a time-travelling organization because he loved them so much. Five should’ve been thanked long ago, but that’s not why Ben is thanking him. 

“You gave me a body again. I never thought I would be able to breathe or talk to our siblings again. I missed you all. So much,” Ben says honestly. His voice is filled with emotion, and he’s surprised he’s not crying yet. “I can’t even begin to put into words how thankful I am.” 

Five stands awkwardly by the bed. He doesn’t look like he knows what to do with the information Ben has handed him. He’s fidgeting around with his marker slightly, and he keeps looking over at his equations like they’d be able to tell him how to handle emotions. 

“You’re my brother,” He finally says. 

Ben gets the overwhelming urge to hug him, so he does. Five yells a muffled ‘hey’, but Ben can’t find it in him to care. He’s  _ hugging  _ his brother, and he knows that he’ll never get enough human contact after being dead for so long. 

“If you tell anyone about this, I’ll kill you all over again,” Five says, and then he returns the hug. 

Ben laughs into Five’s hair and just appreciates being alive. He hears a shuffle, and sees Vanya in the door. He smiles because she’s finally left her room after just over a month, and she returns the smile. She walks into the room, and Ben knows the exact moment Five realises someone else is there. He tenses, but relaxes when he sees it’s just Vanya. 

Vanya hesitantly joins the hug, and even if Five usually doesn’t like hugs, he seems to melt into this one. Ben and Vanya look at each other and laugh. Ben’s pleased to see how much life has returned to her eyes. 

Five ends up falling asleep between them, he probably needed it, but Ben and Vanya stay in the embrace for a while longer. There’s more footsteps and Klaus appears in the door. He takes sight of the sleeping Five, coos, and prances over to them. He quickly joins the hug, and they all shift so they rest against the wall. 

Soon, Allison appears as well. She looks at them, gasps, and runs off. She returns with Diego and Luther. Allison quickly settles herself beside Vanya, but she grabs one of Five’s hands. Vanya lets out a small giggle, and Klaus sighs in content. 

Diego squeezes himself between Klaus and the headboard, and Luther awkwardly stands near the foot of the bed. Allison tugs at his arm, and he takes a seat beside her. This causes the bed to creek, and they all look to Five in anticipation. He doesn't even flinch. 

Vanya and Allison whisper to each other for a bit, and so do Klaus and Diego. Luther’s already drifting off, but Ben can tell that everyone’s getting tired despite it being the early afternoon. 

Klaus briefly gets off the bed and disappears, but he returns with a blanket, so it’s okay. He drapes the blanket over everyone, and even though their feet all hang off the edge of the bed, and even though the wall behind them isn’t super comfortable, they all drift off to sleep. 

For the first time in 13 years, Ben is filled with warmth. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just needed to add pure sibling cuddling, okay?? 
> 
> I just really love them all. 
> 
> Also, I just read Apocalypse Suit today, so I had to take the idea that Five's stopped aging. 
> 
> There will be one more chapter after this which will also be really fluffy and pure. No more sadness for these babies!


	8. That’s How I Find The Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the siblings have begun to heal, Ben visits old memories from childhood. 
> 
> But as Ben, Vanya, and Five soon find out, not all is as it seems. 
> 
> Aka, the nice little epilogue which shows a glimpse into everyday life after stopping the apocalypse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...  
> Warning, this turned out weirder than I intended.

Ben slowly walks away from the growing argument between his siblings and heads to the east wing. It’s a well known fact that the Hargreeves household is a maze, but the east wing especially. None of the children ever found out why their father decided not to use the east wing, but most of the children had steered clear. 

Once, Klaus had decided to go exploring and was lost for over a day. There are twists, turns, secret passages, and overall it’s a very confusing place. Vanya always knew the place the best. She used to spend hours walking around the east wing since she had nothing better to do, but even she can easily get lost. The only one who really knows how to get around is their mother, and that’s because she has the layout programmed into her systems. 

Ben remembers, back when they were all 8, Five had found another library by chance. He’d been teleporting around in the west wing, but he’d overestimated his shot and ended up in the east wing. He’d landed in a dusty library, and he decided to map out the way back so he could show Ben and Vanya. 

It took them over an hour to get there the first time. They never told anyone about it. There’s no security system in the east wing, so it provided the perfect secret hang out spot, and the three of them were always close as children. 

Now, he walks the path easily. Up the stairs, past their mom’s charging station, and past the threshold into the east wing. Walk down the narrow hallway until the 5th door on the left. Walk in, exit through the door on the opposite wall, turn left down that hallway, open the last door on the right, walk up the old stairs, and be careful of the 4th step. After that, enter the closest room on the left, move the old desk, open the trapdoor behind it, and crawl in. Follow the secret passageway until it opens into a small room with one window. Look out the window, enjoy the view for a bit, before pulling open another trapdoor, and walk down the ladder. 

The ladder leads to a hallway with no access other than said ladder. This hallway is back on the first floor. Walk to the lift at the end of the hall and go down 1 level, the lower levels are unknown, but it’s best not to investigate. This leads to a part of the basement which is also separated from the rest of the house. There will be 4 doors. The two on the end lead to other hallways. Choose the left one. From there, open the first door on the right. 

Ben has reached the library. It’s about a 15-20 minute journey, but it’s worth it. It’s always been worth it. He goes past the bookshelves and to the back of the room. There’s a window at the very top of the wall which is at ground level. It lets light in, and Ben can see all the dust floating around. There are some old cushions on the ground under the window which is where they always used to sit. 

Ben walks up the bookshelf and scans the books for something to read. His eyes land on an old book on roman mythology, it’s one he read when he was little, and decides to read it again. 

He’s not entirely sure how much time has passed, but he’s on page 172 when he hears the door open. He’s not alarmed. The east wing is such a mystery that he’s not sure anyone else will ever stumble across it. 

“Hey, I thought you might be here.” 

It’s Vanya. He looks up and smiles at her. She smiles back and looks around the room in wonder. There’s a nostalgic look on her face, and Ben understands the feeling. She sits down beside him and rests her head on his shoulder. 

“Remember the times we’d arrive at dinner completely out of breath because we’d lost track of time and had to run from here?” Vanya says suddenly. 

Ben chuckles at the memory. It has mostly happened after Five disappeared because before that he’d usually teleport them one at a time to the threshold of the east wing. He’d learned how to teleport with people when he was 10, but before that there had been some close calls as well. 

“What about that time when we were, what, 11? And suddenly there was only 1 minute until dinner. Five panicked and left  _ without  _ us, and we both ended up being late! Mom didn’t even come to give us our 30-minute warning!” Ben exclaims. 

“I know! That little traitor got there on time, but by time we arrived everyone was done eating! I sprained my ankle on the sprint back!” Vanya rants. 

“I forgot about that! Dad was so pissed.” 

They both laugh at the memory. Despite getting punished, and despite Vanya injuring herself, it’s a fond memory. Besides, they weren’t late very often. Their mom always gave them a 30 minute warning. 

“Wait, if mom’s cooking takes at least an hour, and dinner happens directly after she finishes, how did she walk all the way here to give us a 30 minute warning?” Ben asks. 

Both him and Vanya stop to ponder the logic behind it. It takes 20 minutes at most to get back, so everytime their mom got them they’d give themselves 10 more minutes, but how did their mom get there? It’s a 40 minute round trip, but if she’s supposedly busy making dinner then how did she do it? 

“I… I don’t know,” Vanya whispers out. 

They begin to wonder if there was a quicker route all along, but then why would their mom give them a full 30 minutes instead of just showing them another route? Vanya slumps down until she’s laying at the floor, and then she looks up at the ceiling as if her entire life has been a lie. 

Ben joins her. 

Together they lay on the ground and come up with different ideas as to  _ how  _ their mom did it, but everytime it doesn’t add up. They’re nearing hysterics by time there’s the familiar sound of a spatial jump. 

“It’s been 45 minutes since Vanya left to get you. Allison’s getting worried— what’s wrong with you two? Why are you crying?!” Five asks. 

“How did mom come to get us when she should’ve been busy with dinner,” Vanya manages to say between her tears. 

“What are you talking about?” He asks again. 

Together, Vanya and Ben are able to explain everything to him. Five scoffs and rolls his eyes as if the answer’s obvious. Vanya and Ben momentarily stop crying as they wait to hear the truth. 

“Obviously she… uh… wait… how the fuck did do it?!” Five screams. 

He then proceeds to panic with them. He will never,  _ ever,  _ admit it to anyone, but soon Five also falls into hysterics. He isn’t  _ crying _ , but he’s pretty damn close. 

No solution they come up with works, and at this point Ben and Vanya’s throats are raw from screaming so much. Their eyes are red, there are tear tracks on Ben and Vanya’s faces, and all 3 of them are disheveled, but after 20 more minutes they get their act together enough to teleport back to the others. 

They land in the kitchen. Allison’s pacing around, Klaus is muttering under his breath, Diego looks like he’s very close to calling the police or going into the east wing himself, and Luther just looks completely lost. Their mom is doing the dishes as she hums, seemingly ignorant to worry which has fallen over her children. 

Their siblings turn their heads the moment they hear a spatial jump. Allison sags with relief and rushes over to them. 

“Thank god! We’ve all been so worried. Diego almost went into the east wing, and— have you guys been crying? Are you okay?” She asks. 

Ben and Vanya are still too shocked to process her words, and Five just straight up ignores her. Five walks up to their mom which catches everyone’s attention. 

“Mom. When Ben, Vanya, and I were younger we’d use to play in the east wing a lot,” He begins. 

“Yes, I remember that. You’d be gone after lessons and return for dinner,” Grace says. 

“Whenever we were down there,  _ how  _ did you give us a 30 minute warning for dinner?” He asks. 

One of their siblings mutters a ‘what’, but it’s unimportant. The trio’s focus is completely on their mother, waiting for her answer. 

She tilts her head slightly and, even though her smile is still in place, she looks the slightest bit confused. 

“I never went to get you when you went to the east wing, sillies. I don’t even know where you went in the east wing,” She answers. 

There’s a beat of silence. 

  
Then there’s chaos. 

Ben and Vanya instantly begin screaming again which causes all of their siblings to look at them in alarm. Five backs away from their mother and begins repeating ‘no’ over and over again. 

“WHO THE FUCK WENT TO GET US THEN?!” Five yells. 

Ben and Vanya fall into hysterical crying again, and this time so does Five. The other siblings look at each other in utter confusion, and their mom looks at the trio with worry. Vanya and Ben are rolling around on the floor, and Five is slumped against a wall. The house begins to shake and everyone looks at Vanya in worry. 

After 10 minutes the hysterics die down, and the trio are left with small sniffles. The house is still standing though, so it’s okay. 

“So,” Allison begins. “Anyone want to go for a picnic?” 

Nothing says sibling bonding like planning a picnic while 3 siblings are on the ground. 

All in all, it’s just another day in the post-apocalypse Hargreeves household. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading. 
> 
> I had meant for this to be just an overall sweet chapter full of sibling bonding, but somehow it turned into whatever this is. I just wanted to go more in depth about their secret library and have a nice nostalgia train which would end with Allison planing a picnic. Somehow, this was born. 
> 
> Well, guess that's just how the Hargreeves are.

**Author's Note:**

> All these kids deserve more. 
> 
> I hope you don't mind the short chapters. I just wanted it to be an introspective and short piece.


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